Dating is different when you are a single mom. It may be especially true if it’s been quite some time since you’ve been single. It’s hard to get back in the game. That’s doubly so if you have to worry about your career and on top of that homework, play dates and bedtimes. Your time is a bit more constrained. That said, lots of single moms have happy, fulfilling love lives while still maintaining a good career and a great family life. The first thing to understand is that even if millenials aren’t exactly the dating types, or so the media says, most young adults still date. If they just want you to hang out, and that isn’t your scene, then just move on. That said, whether a date goes poorly, or is just so-so, or out of this world, learn to relish in a date. How much time do you get to hang out with someone you might want to get to know better? There are glasses on the table, instead of Sippy cups. Don’t think that just because you haven’t found the man of your dreams yet, that you have to rush through a list of suitors looking for the one. The one usually sneaks up when you least expect it. So why not just sit back, relax and get into dating? Think of it as a little vacation without the kids, with someone who may have potential.
Do let the guy pick up the check. But after the second or third date, perhaps chip in, buy dessert or even be so bold as to pick up the tab. Don’t just talk about your kids all night. This is the time for you to shine. That doesn’t mean you can’t talk about them. They are an important part of your life. But this date should be about you, not them. Don’t think that only single dads are going to want to date you. Savvy guys look at the whole woman as a potential dating partner. Be open to trying out different guys if the opportunity appears. You never know who or what you are going to like. And someone might surprise you. There are plenty of men who want to date a woman their own age, contrary to popular opinion. There are plenty of men too who would love to rock your world, if you are interested in that opportunity. So do not waste your time with someone who doesn’t. Remember you may be a mom, but they made the acronym MILF for a reason. You are still a woman. Why not embrace all of the beautiful sides of multi-faceted you? Talk to your children about dating. Approach it in a positive way. Answer any of their questions and let them know that you love them no matter what. For more on this topic, read Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal.