We mostly consider those who marry for other reasons besides love sick, depraved, morally bankrupt or in some sort of unenviable position that elicits our sympathy. The truth is people marry for all kinds of reasons, not always for love. Some are trying to escape a rotten home life. Others are afraid of being single. There are those escaping poor financial prospects. And those seeking power and position, the original reason why most people tied the knot historically, procreation notwithstanding. It wasn’t until the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century that we have the idea of romantic love we have today. And the 1970’s change in divorce laws and focus on the pursuit of personal happiness that made everyone crazy to marry for love. But perhaps our standards for what love and romance are are too high? Are our expectations getting in the way of true marital bliss? People who marry for companionship may marry for a better reason than love. And oftentimes their relationship and their marriage remain stronger because of the lack of elevated expectations.
Of course love is an important human emotion. No one is saying not to marry for love. But there has to be other things to consider. Is this person kind and considerate? Do they really care about you? Do they have any destructive behaviors that will hurt you, themselves or tear down the marriage? Be realistic when choosing a mate. If you are running off for love but everyone in your life is telling you it is a mistake, do some soul searching. Look into your heart of hearts. Is there some reason why things won’t work out? Remember that love changes. People grow and change over time. Marriage is supposed to be forever. But you really don’t know what storms your marriage will weather. As quickly as it comes over you, love may leave. It could be one reason why they have drive-through wedding chapels in Las Vegas. Love is a great motivator. But common interests, common values, a great sense of humor, excellent communication, trust, and respect are all qualities to consider in a mate as well. If you are marrying someone forever they should definitely possess all of these qualities for the relationship to survive and thrive. For more advice read, 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married by Monica Mendez Leahy.