Weddings are stressful, especially on the bride to be. Plans, problems, arranging different things, family members and bridesmaids who disagree, the list goes on. That said, marriage can also be quite stressful. You want a life partner if you are willing to take the plunge. Divorce is painful, lengthy and expensive. Your best chance is to marry right in the first place. To do that you should help her, support her, but watch what signs she’s exhibiting and how she deals with stress. Chances are there will be great waves that come and rock your marriage. This is the time to tell if you’ll be able to weather those storms or sink to the bottom of the murky depths.
Look out for the warning signs and if things don’t feel right in your gut, feel alright backing out of it. Everyone will understand. If they don’t they aren’t on your side to begin with. If she’s doing these things, call off the wedding. First, expect her to be totally stressed. But if she turns into an absolute nightmare, punch out. Years from now when she’s totally flipping out on you and you have nowhere to run or hide, you would have wished you listened to this advice. If she’s being absolutely ridiculous understand that this isn’t the last time you’ll see this behavior and consider carefully.
Watch out if she tells you to cancel the bachelor party. This is truly the one ritual that exists separate, that is only for the man. It’s a rite of passage in our culture moving from singledom to a married man all in the company of your best buds. Whether it’s paintball, camping or Vegas it’s the one thing that defines maleness in your run up to the wedding. She may say she doesn’t want you going to a gentleman’s club or that she doesn’t trust what your friends might do. But what you should be hearing is manipulative and controlling. Are there other hints at this behavior? Does she tell you what to wear? Has she already selected the names of your children? Does she tell you what to eat and what not to? It may seem cute in the beginning but this emasculating behavior will either make her your superior or force you out of the relationship.
Though you are getting married, it doesn’t mean you have to rush into parenthood. Is your girl living too much in the future? If she’s talking about the home décor of a house you don’t own, what colleges your kids will go to when you don’t have any yet, and where you will retire she is probably trying to catch up with her friends and lose your relationship in the process. Talk to her. Get her to slow down and enjoy the now. But if she refuses, you’ll have to keep up with her friends forever. Better to hit the eject button. For more advice read, The Marriage Compatibility Test: 101 Questions to Ask before You Marry by Richard Chesser.