Emotional mood swings are bound to arise during and after your divorce. There are several stages of loss that people typically experience with the death of a loved one, which are often also experienced with the ending of a serious or long-term relationship. A divorce is essentially the death of a relationship that carries a lot more emotional charges and other serious consequences as compared to the ending of a non-committal relationship (as with casual dating).
It’s important to prepare yourself for the emotional mood swings that could lead to emotional outbursts by your ex and from your own side. There could come a stage in your divorce where you experience a toxic mixture of emotions such as anger and sorrow that feel practically intolerable at times. You might feel that the only way to feel better is to lash out at your ex. Sometimes divorcees come to realize certain aspects of the marriage that were unhealthy that they weren’t fully aware of before. This realization can trigger intense anger and bitterness toward anyone involved, potentially leading to an emotional outburst of some sort.
If you’re able to tame these extreme emotions by being mindful of them as they arise and finding constructive ways to deal with them, then all the better for you. Realize that this isn’t an easy task and not many people accomplish this, even while knowing it’s in their best interest. If you have an emotional outburst, it’s important to see it for what it was, why it happened, and forgive yourself. This is a very difficult time in your life and beating yourself up over your current actions won’t make them disappear and will only make you feel worse about the entire situation.
You should also try to forgive your ex for any emotional outbursts they may express toward you or about you to others. Try to practice empathy, seeing that they’re going through similar emotions to your own. Eventually time will heal the current pain you’re both experiencing and you’ll be able to move forward with your lives. The only way you won’t heal is if you hold onto your anger from the past, as if it still exists today. See that this approach is harmful and unnecessary, and also a CHOICE, then decide to let go and move on.