Are you his Practice Wife?

practice

Have you heard of this phenomenon of a practice wife? It’s when a guy lives with a woman, loves her, but doesn’t marry her. Instead this is just “practice” for the woman he is going to marry someday. Some people swear by this, since there are so many divorces today. Others say that you don’t get it right until the second or even third marriage when you figure out what baggage you yourself are bringing to the relationship and how to deal with it. But what are the signs? How can you tell if you are his practice wife or if he’s just making sure? First, determine how long you’ve lived together. If it’s been a significant amount of time, have you talked about marriage? If you two act like a married couple but haven’t talked about it, broach the subject. See what he says. If he says he doesn’t believe in marriage, believe him, but keep your eyes and ears peeled. Many a woman has heard that line, only to see her ex walk down the aisle with someone else somewhere down the road. Have you had a rocky relationship? Sometimes guys have to get used to being with a woman. But if he considers you a nag, he may leave you for someone he considers less of a problem, and end up marrying her. If this is the case, you have to evaluate if he really means that much to you, and if you can change how you communicate with him. You could even research ways to show him that you’re the one he should marry. There are many books on this topic, including The Reverse Ultimatum: A Step-By-Step Plan To Make Him Realize YOU’RE The ONE He Wants To Marry by Mimi Tanner.

How old are you? How old is he? If he’s young, say in his twenties, living with a woman is fine. But he may not be ready to commit. It may not kick in until his late twenties or early to mid-thirties. If you truly love each other and have a deep connection then it may prove useful to wait. But don’t think that it’s inevitable. Have you guys recently adopted an adorable kitty or a cute pup? Was it his idea? If so, he may be trying out the practice kids as well. He wants to see what responsibility is like before he actually has a family. What about his friends? Are they married? If his friends are all married he is probably more apt to get married, if not soon than somewhere down the line. How about the bills? And chores? If you two are both taking care of the household, financially and physically, but just are at a static moment in your relationship where things don’t seem to be going anywhere, there is a good chance that you are the practice wife. Do you two ever talk about the future? If the farthest into the crystal ball you look is summer vacation plans, but never talk about kids, buying a house, retirement, or savoring your golden years together, your relationship could just simply be a drill. Do his friends take you seriously? If not, you may just be the practice wife.

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