After Divorce Comes The “Identity Crisis Process”

identity crisis divorce

The identity crisis process is what experts describe as the recovery period following a divorce or other major breakup.  Experts also say this process can occur with losing a job or a more extreme version of this when a loved one passes away.  According to an article from The Wall Street Journal, divorcees should give themselves approximately two years to heal from their divorce.  This might seem like a long time, but you must realize that getting divorced is a huge transition.  Your life will be changed entirely from how it was when you were married.  Even if you were to remarry right away (which isn’t advised), it will be an entirely new relationship with new rules and norms to adjust to.

If the divorce came as a shock to you by your ex-spouse, then it will likely take you even longer than the suggested two years to recover from it completely.  Knowing how long it typically takes to heal from a divorce is an important component to functioning in daily life because acceptance is the first step to full recovery.  You must first accept the divorce, the loss, the sorrow, and everything else that comes naturally with the loss of a relationship, before you can start to rebuild your new life.

The same article from the WSJ discusses two overlapping processes involved in recovering from a divorce.  These are:

  1. Recovery from grief


2.   Rebuilding the structure of your life


Most people consider the emotional components of a divorce, but may not realize it’s really a life-altering situation in almost every area.  Your identity as being married to that specific person is now gone and you’re left to rebuild the structure of your life without that person.  This type of transition is difficult and takes considerable time to be done effectively without causing more pain and stress.  Anyone can manifest a new life in a short time frame, especially if they have the financial means to do so, however, this won’t make the pain and other emotions connected to your divorce disappear.  The transition needs to be gradual because real recovery is gradual.

Although the recovery process will take some time, keep in mind that it is still temporary and will get better gradually.  You should accept that what you’re feeling and going through is normal and there is nothing wrong with you.  If you can accept how you’re feeling about your divorce while remaining unattached to the idea that you’ll feel this way forever, you’ll be guaranteed a full recovery down the road.

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