There are lots of frustrated, depressed and discouraged daters out there in the world today. They don’t think they will ever find the one for them. But there are only a few attitudes that can mean the difference between someone happy and satisfied in their love life and those who are not. One of the most important qualities a person can exhibit in dating is open-mindedness. Most people have a mental or even a physical checklist for what they are looking for in the perfect match. The best daters know that however realistic their list seems, they will date people who have other qualities that they like that aren’t on the list, or they may date people who have potential but don’t have one or even a few of the qualities they decided they were in search of. But the best daters don’t write someone off completely merely because they don’t possess all of the qualities they decided they needed. In fact, they may continue to date this person or these people, and be open-minded enough to the possibility that a person who does have these qualities may come along.
Those who are open-minded can see potentialities with people, ways to be flexible and make things work. They also know that they may need to throw out their checklist altogether. Lots of people gulp and feel a wave of fear with the thought of taking a checklist they worked hard on, which they were committed to and chucking it out the window. But the truth is that the human heart is far more intricate, precarious, mysterious and difficult to quantify than anything else on earth. Said differently, you could fall in love with someone, struck out of nowhere like a lightning bolt, or it may come to you slowly as the tide slowly rolls in to shore. But this person that you fall for may not have any of the qualities on your list. Lots of people hem and haw, maybe even deny the feelings that they have for a person due to their checklist. But the thing about falling in love is, you can’t predict it. There are proclivities but no sets of conclusions. And if you knew all about love and how we fall in love right from the beginning, wouldn’t that take the mystery out of it? And in taking out that mystery wouldn’t we lose something in the beauty of love? It’s that same mysteriousness that makes it interesting. Remember to stick to your core values. This should be someone you are comfortable with and have chemistry with. But don’t turn away good catches because they have one little imperfection here or there. You might go hungry. And who doesn’t have imperfections? You may even notice some in yourself. We all have them. Just find someone who has the kind you can live with. For more dating advice read, Decoding Love: Why it Takes Twelve Frogs to Find a Prince, and Other Revelations from the Science of Attraction by Andrew Trees.