Have you and your boyfriend broken up, and before you know it they are dating someone else? What gives? Did they have someone on deck or did they just jump into a rebound relationship that quickly? Some men hate being alone. So they do have a girl on deck just in case they become single again. Others find it best to attract another woman when they are with someone. So they have a woman they like to call and date casually from time to time, not only for validation, fun, and to bring to those awkward plus one events, but if she finds him attractive it will make other women attracted to him as well, and even bring out some healthy female competition. So he may call her up or start dating her again until he can find the one he really wants.
Sometimes men have female friends who are interested in them waiting in the wings. Maybe the guy didn’t even know she had a crush on him. You just assume that she was waiting to swoop in and snatch him up, and you might be right. But if you were thinking he had his eye on her the whole time it may not be the case. This happens to women as well.
When a man is young he tends to want to sow his wild oats. In his late teens and early twenties he wants to experience life to the fullest. That also means dating different kinds of women to see what he likes but also help him figure out who he is. Just as women go through a process of exploring their identities at this time, so do men. They also find out more about themselves via the women they’ve dated. It becomes a growing experience. But when it comes time to settle down in the later twenties or the early thirties, it generally isn’t someone he’s had in his rolodex a while, although it can be. Many times a man will come to the conclusion that he let the right woman go, and he will go and pursue her. Some women believe that this means he’s had her on deck for some time, when in reality he was in denial about his true feelings for her, and only now realizes who it is he should be pursuing. And sometimes two people just happen to get together when the time is right. Although it may look like he had her waiting in the wings, it was really an organic happenstance.
In the end, don’t worry about your ex having someone he can go back to. Instead, get over your heartbreak and look for the man you’re meant to be with. Dating games can be fun, but they can also be nasty, crude, quizzical and confusing. If you are into someone who is exciting but unreliable, realize that you probably will get your heart broken. But if you are going for the guy with a heart of gold, your chances of suffering from these games are slim to none. Date the right kind of guy and you won’t have to worry about someone waiting in the wings, anxious to take your place. For more help with getting over your ex read, It’s Called a Breakup because it’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.